woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
