i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
