yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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