Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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