dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
