is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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