We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
