She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
