your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
