it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
