i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She bit a glass in half.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
