seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Rumble strips road head = magical
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
