okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
