this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
