Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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