Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
