So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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