I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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