Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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