His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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