just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
