Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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