Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize