but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
