Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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