I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize