She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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