i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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