is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
