You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
