I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
