I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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