Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize