As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
