can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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