so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just had sex bonerless
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
