we're making bets on your personal life
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
