oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
