got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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