why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
