I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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