He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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