My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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