You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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