So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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