i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
