So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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