I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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