I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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