you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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