my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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