Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
