I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
