you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
