I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
