What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
