So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
