I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
