jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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