When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
