Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
