whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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