Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
