I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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