i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
