Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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