I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
