Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
