Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
