I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
