member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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