Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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