I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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