Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
