i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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